An ode to a friend on her birthday!

I did not wish my friend on her birthday for the first time in the last 24 years – not that I forgot her day or I misplaced her number; nor did I had an argument over a petty issue -  two decades is a long time not to have misunderstanding creep through a relation or for any other silly reason. It’s just that my good old friend doesn’t want any connection with any of her friends. And I know it’s not just that. It was a difficult choice – for both!!

“I do not want to be in touch with any of my old friends. I have nothing to talk about and I am not interested to know about the happenings in your life. Don’t try to contact me, ever.” shouted my friend through the messenger chat window- as I looked on flabbergasted. Even before I could punch a reply, she signed out. I had nothing more to say.  

Life is all about experiences and all our experiences shape the existence of the relationships that we have nurtured, cherished and shared for long. She can’t be blamed – for I know that life has been extremely unkind. The tragedies, countless.

I know she is lonely. Extremely lonely. Life had ebbed out of her, the moment she saw life crawling out of the love of her life. Unannounced, unprepared she lost the most important person. She looked lifeless the last I saw her some 2 years ago. The fun telephonic conversations that sustained our relationship ever since we moved out of high school slowly switched over to ‘me only’ mode and in the last one year, unanswered, always.

There are times when we all want to shunt out the world around us. Everything old and known seems meaningless. We want to move and hence remove the debris of the past. And in the decision that she has taken, I hope she is able to find the path that brings her true and everlasting joy. And in her journey, I am with her by not being there at all!

I had no better day to delete her name from my phone contact book – her birthday!!!!

       Wish you a very happy birthday, my white angel !!!!!

Hey! You missed the blogging bus

“Yippee! I’m a blogger now”. I excitedly announced to a close friend. A puckered reply shot instantly, “huh! its good but don’t you think you’ve missed the blogging bus”. My silence gave her the reply and a topic change. Well, even before I could share my blogging address, she’s dissuaded me from getting any further. I wasn’t interested either. Glad I didn’t!! She wasn’t like this- being an internet buff herself, I reasoned out to myself.

This got me thinking as to what I really wanted from this blog and why the hell I opened it if I have actually missed the blogging bus. Agreed, I am an internet enthusiast- but I rarely follow any blogs. Just visit few sites randomly and later forget most of them. Then why suddenly I open it now, meaning well that I intend on doing this earlier.

A commoner to the core, back from an ever extended maternity sabbatical (well, I never joined the same place and remained in the same city!!); no extraordinary degrees and positions to boost of (okay, I moved a little up the ladder- big deal!!), juggling hard between work and home (fine- my mind and bones ache by the time I ring the door bell and know exactly the reaction I’ll get from mom till the time she’s with me. Yeah! like all good parents she’s supporting me by being around with the upbringing of my son so that I settle down in work and am less hassled with his safety – how much important this is in a Metro!!), last but not the least the daily metro ride that some days render me claustrophobic to the extent of getting off where the rush begins (my heart starts panting the moment Mayur Vihar 1 station is announced and I wish if there could be a separate metro just for this ONE station or somehow if my metro car could bypass it.  Just to face the music in time!! And here I alight yet again, much ahead of my actual stop!! Well, of late I am trying to busy myself with the compulsorily newspaper reading and deliberately miss listening to any announcement made henceforth. And I am managing with aplomb. Deboard at my destination. Reach work on time-every morning. Wow!! what a relief to adhere to the timings in the Delhi morning hours!!).

Having said much about myself, I get back to the basic question of why I am blogging now, as pointed out by my friend – “You’ve missed the blogging bus”. To my mind I never intend on catching one anytime before. Had I blogged earlier- I would have done that for myself and the answer remains no different now. I see this space as my own, where I can experiment. I won’ be writing for someone else. I write for me. I see this as my second baby whom I can tend to the way I want. My words mirror my blog. I can give a shape. Add color. And I am not governed by anyone’s directions. I write to please myself.

There’s an enormous work to be accomplished now. This space is just a skeleton - lifeless. My thoughts shall give a new life. I have witnessed architecting some sites - for others.  This one, I architect for me. I hope in this new journey, that I embark now, I am able to share my accumulated experiences of exploring different cultures, travels, relationships - successful and unsuccessful, motherhood, and much more…..

And very well hope my friend gets her answer, in case she ever accidentally crosses by J

My first post

A little anxious- this is indeed my first attempt at blogging. Finally, have put that long desire into action. YES! I have my own blog now - my place, my space, my kingdom where I can pen down my thoughts!! Incredible it seems now....happy? Yes, I am. I shall be writing for ME !! Gosh! I already have these thoughts bombarding me. And I really need to sort that out and pen down something that comes through my heart, my soul.